The hunger to be traditionally published isn't for vanity, fame, fortune or even validation on my life. It's pretty simple. I want to spread a message of hope. No different than preachers, pastors, evangelists. It's simply in a different way--a way God has graciously gifted me in. Why did He do it? I have no idea. But I am thankful.
It's a long journey to a dream fulfilled.
For me it's been endless hours of writing, sacrificing sleep, events and even physical comfort at times, learning new things, learning social media, spending time on social media more than I might want to. It's been expensive with conferences, books, laptops, smartphone and the list goes on of items I have to purchase to do all the things I need to in order to move forward in fulfilling my dream. My God-given dream.
I've spent more hours in prayer, which is an upside. Some of my most intense and beautiful moments with God have come through praying about stories, characters, the message of hope, the mission of hope, the fruit of spreading hope.
I've enjoyed surprise confirmations from God through people, places, the Word, and even billboards and attendance sheets, reminding me I'm moving forward. It isn't in vain. Keep going.
I've written 13 manuscripts. I did it in about 4 years. So you know the BIC (butt in chair) time I've spent. I've learned about myself as God used my own characters to teach me. Some of it hurt, some of it was simply amusing.
And here's what I've been learning of late, because I've yet to see that dream of traditional publishing become a reality. I know dreams take time. I can relate and take comfort from Joseph, a young boy with a gigantic dream, that maybe seemed vain at the time--people bowing. I learned a lot as he grew from an immature teen into the wonderful man who was ready to handle having thousands bow at his feet.
My prayer has been, "God when you're ready. Prepare me to house YOUR fame." I think it's a daily prayer for me.
I've learned that instead of obsessing over when and strengthening myself for the future (which is good and I should but not in an all-consuming way) I need to work on strengthening the Here and Now!
I let my future overpower my present. And I've suffered.
When that realization struck me, after repenting and re-committing, God opened all sorts of opportunities up for me. Or maybe they were there all along and He simply gave me new sight to see them. Probably the latter. God is always up to something, doing something new. Question is: Are we on the same page?
I'm preparing to teach a new and growing believers' class and I'm writing the material for it! Two things I love. Teaching. Writing.
I've had the opportunity to help as an assistant nursery director while our real one is on maternity leave. (I'll be glad when she's back! ;))
I've been blessed to take a meal to a new mom and the list goes on.
And I'm happy. I feel satisfied. Fulfilled--even though I'm still waiting while my agent works hard on my behalf. While God works hard on my behalf. They believe in me. In the message of hope. And I'm grateful.
I'm not so antsy.
I'm not so worried.
God knows best.
Maybe you're pursuing a God-given dream. And yet you feel dissatisfied. Worried. Consumed.
Maybe you need to ask God what you can do in the Here and Now. Things that matter equally. Things that need done now. While God is working on the future.
“That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments;” Psalm 78:7
**photo credits: freedigitalphotos.net
What do you do when you're not consumed with your dream? Are you doing things in the Here and Now?
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