Friday, February 8, 2013

Real-life Romance: Pastor Greg & Nancy Davis



When I think of love enduring, I think of my Pastor and his wife. Their story is an inspiration to anyone. I hope you’ll be encouraged today even though she’s only sharing the nutshell. Thank you, Nancy, for being here today!

Don’t despise small beginnings.  Isn’t that what you’ve always heard?  I would add “or young beginnings.”  I’m sure my mother never had any idea that when she dropped me off for my first day of second grade at a new school that I would meet the man I would marry. But there he was. About half way through second grade Greg asked me to marry him, and; obviously, I said yes. Despite a couple of short-lived dramatic breakups during elementary school we were an item. By the time we were old enough to date there was no turning back.

Pastor Greg & Nancy Davis
Cornerstone Church
Newly married right out of high school we moved off to attend Bible College (and, yes, the above-mentioned mother was a basket case)! Just me and him and absolutely NOTHING else. We lived like paupers-as most students do-and those were some of the most fun years of our lives. We discovered you don’t really have to have much as long as you are happy with each other. Love doesn’t cost anything except time, thoughtfulness and commitment.  It’s a small price to pay for something so rewarding.

You know, in 32 (almost) years of marriage I've learned some things that are ageless.  Love doesn't have to be complicated.  It doesn't have to be demanding or smothering.  It does, in fact, take work and effort.  It cannot grow on its own without attention and nurturing but it can flourish greatly when fed a constant diet of respect and consideration.

Not to say that marital love is perfect.  No love, other than that of our heavenly Father, is. But you can certainly weather a lot of storms and face a lot of “stuff” if you have someone to lean into. And, if handled correctly, the storms of life can make your love stronger – more solidified. That’s right! I really did say that! Not that you invite bad times – absolutely not!  But, you have to know those times will come.  Just as sure as life rolls on, those times will come. And how you walk through them as a couple will make, break, strengthen or weaken your relationship.

Our 32 years (almost) has brought with it many “opportunities” for strengthening: Eight years of infertility eventually resulting in the birth of our son, Colton, being born with 6 separate heart defects and facing a total of 6 open-heart surgeries before his 18th birthday; my battle with a blood disorder that almost killed me and took two years for recovery; our newly adopted 12 month old Chinese daughter being diagnosed with a large, cancerous, potentially-lethal brain tumor followed by a 12 hour brain surgery and 1 1/2 years of chemo and radiation; full time ministry for 25 years (need I add to that one?) with 15 of those being the Lead Pastors; and, much more - but who’s counting, right?

In all of these storms came times of despair.  A moment – even if fleeting- when the darkness seemed greater than the light. We’ve all been there at one time or another for one reason or another.  Without Greg, I might have remained there. He held me close when I shivered from the fear. He allowed me to process my grief knowing that he would pull me back to deal with the present. He whispered words of hope and love into my life and into my heart.  We cried together. We talked out our frustrations and our fears. We contemplated our options. We talked about everything-whether or not it was easy to say or to hear. Then, and this is important, we celebrated all of the good things in our lives. We counted our blessings in our times of want. We agreed that even though we might not understand our situations we were certainly going to invite God into them. We also agreed that we could allow our trials to make us bitter or to make us better. It was our choice and we chose better every time. It’s always the best choice. Bitter gets you nothing. Ever. That’s how we still handle our storms and we’ve yet to meet a storm we couldn’t endure together.

A lot of our success comes from the little things. He fills my car with gas because he knows I hate to. I buy whipped cream even though I hate it because I know he loves it on everything. He buys me flowers on Tuesdays because he says nobody expects to get flowers on Tuesday. I get up early to turn the heat up and get coffee ready because he hates to get up to a cold house. He tells me I’m beautiful even though I’m constantly getting my hair colored to cover the gray and trying new face creams to reduce the wrinkles.  I tell him he still makes my heart pound and even though he has a little less hair now I don’t even notice.  It’s an ongoing cycle of giving.  What happens, though, is when you continually give you - continually receive. Pretty nifty how it works out that way!

There’s been a lot of water under the bridge since he popped the question way back in 1971 in second grade!  There is no one in this world I would rather paddle my way through life with.  Marriage is designed to get better and better every year if that’s how you build it. The trick is to get busy building.  

Thank you so much, Nancy, for guesting today. I never get tired of your love story or watching it unfold every day. You inspire me!

If you’re married, what are some things you do, to stay busy building a healthy and successful marriage? If you’re not married, what are some qualities you’re looking for in a spouse? (my questions)



  
    

12 comments:

  1. What an awesome story! Together since 2nd grade?? That is amazing!

    I would say that communication...really listening and understanding your spouse is key. It's easy to go through the motions of married life without really connecting, and it is soooo important!

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  2. It totally is the little things- so why do they seem so hard to do?:) But that's where it's at, because it's in the little things that we feel remembered. We've been married 15 years, lots of ups and downs, but it does keep getting better. There's no way we could be making it if God weren't smack-dab in the center.

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  3. I just let out one of those happy, contented sighs. What a beautiful story. I'm encouraged!

    One thing that's important in our marriage is to continue to build each other up. The set-backs in life can drain self-confidence, and having an encouraging spouse makes all the difference.

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  4. Wow, amazing love story! You all have been through so much. My parents also knew each other since childhood.

    I married my best friend, someone I could easily picture myself joking around with in the nursing home someday. You have to look at the LONG haul, the BIG picture. And those hard times will come and test your marriage and your love. But I find married love so much deeper and more satisfying than any other. We know each other well, our good points and our bad points, and we still love and support each other.

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  5. Such a sweet story!!

    Mike and I were best friend when we got married, and we love hanging out together. The trick is making sure we make time for that. It's so easy to each get involved in our own things and not have enough time alone. It's in those times when we discover new things about each other and talk about our days and our fears and our frustrations. I've been trying to spend time with him each night, when cuts into my writing time--but I feel much closer to him when I do.

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  6. That is so beautiful.
    It's so easy to be with my hubby yet it does take work to keep it healthy and to not take it for granted. One of the things I love best about him is his thoughtfulness. He puts me to shame because he is MUCH more considerate to me than I am to him. LOL

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  7. I'm so glad the rest of the world is getting to hear their story - it inspires me constantly!

    I also married my best friend, and like I told my daughter recently - we have to work to make sure we still like each other, because the day will come when she won't be living at our house anymore!

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  8. This touched me right to the core! Thank you for sharing, Nancy!
    We've been married 28 years, so just a few behind you.

    The first few years of romantic bliss are indeed wonderful, but it's life's storms that mature us and grow our love in new ways. My husband and I are so in sync with each other that we usually can guess what the other is thinking. I love it when we break out into a smile at the same time because of something we've seen, heard, or thought of.

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  9. Oh how I enjoyed reading the love story of this little girl who I knew very well while she was growing up. We moved away and not aware of the trials she has endured. This once again reminds me that "God is Faithful". Knowing about another loss she encountered as a very young child makes me see and realize that she is an amazing young lady and her commitment to her marriage, her family and her Lord is definitely an encouragement. I pray that her story of commitment brings hope and assurance to many other young ladies. I've definitely been blessed by this. Thank you Nancy for sharing!!!

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  10. Hi Jessica
    I guess I am the only guy to comment on this blog (so far lol) I just found this blog so special that I read it to my wife. We will be celebrating our 34th this coming May. Is so true that God has to be the center of our marriages. I also agree that communication is a must. I had my eye on her before she was a teen. E have been through many storms too and they have made us stronger... Including me being healed from cancer when I was given only 6 month to live. We serve n awesome God!!! Maybe your pastors wife should write a book to encourage the so many couples that need help. Sorry to write too much but is a great blog for February.

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  11. I so loved reading this real-life love story.
    It is inspiring in so many ways -- and you can hear the love (both for each other and for God) echoing all the way through their story.

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