Friday, September 27, 2013

I'm So Lazy...A Top Ten

Hey everyone! It's Friday and I'm blogging, so you know what that means, right?

It's Friday and I'm blogging.

Okay, really it means I'm back to my regular blogging schedule. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Wednesdays are my longer blog post days because they are teaching/devotions. 

Summer is over. My daughter is now a freshman. I'm coping. Barely. My son is now in 4th grade and I can no longer help him in math. Okay, so I had a hard time with the 3rd grade math too, but...whatever. Point is: I've already sent a post-it to the teacher, twice, saying, "What exactly do you mean by this and can you jot down an example?" It's true. 

I crawled onto my couch with my cup of coffee and stared out the back door, meditating on the summer and how it's gone down. And I discovered just how flipping lazy I am. 

No really.

I am. In fact, I thought I'd break it down for you. Here are my top ten lazies:

 I'm so lazy...

 10. I text my daughter to bring me my iPad.

9. I cheer when it's a cloudy day because I don't have to actually use the energy to put my contacts in. 

8. I use a throw pillow to close the door when I'm in bed or at my desk, and I have terrible aim so 40% of the time I just throw a pillow out into the kitchen...then another...and another until eventually I'm out of pillows and I text my daughter to close my door--after picking up the pillows.

7. I set the coffee pot at night. Heaven forbid I have to toss in a few scoops and dig for the filter the morning of.

6. When my vacuum won't get in the crevices by the wall or couch, I pick up the lint, Cheerios, or paper and toss it in the open area and then vacuum. Who has time to carry it to the trash? At least I'm vacuuming.

5. When the vacuum-dirt-holder-thing is full, I do not vacuum.

4. I lie in bed thirsty until my husband gets up for something and then ask him to bring me a bottle of water. (He keeps doing it so really that's on him, right?)
 
3. I use spray lotion because it's easier than pressing a pump and goes on lighter thus requiring less rubbing in.

2. I buy waterproof eyeliner so I don't have to put it on the next morning when I go to the gym, because I don't wanna be that lady--the one who puts on makeup to go to the gym.


1. And...I'm so lazy, I take my naps in the bathtub to kill two birds with one stone. Or that might be multi-tasking and saving time...Okay, scratch that.

The Real #1: I'm so lazy, I don't let my children use the quilt on the back of the couch. I say it's for looks, but I really just don't want to fold it.  

And there yah have it, ladies and gents. My top ten lazies. Have a great weekend and see you on Monday when I talk about...


What's something you do or don't do simply because you're
 just a lazy bum like me? 


photo credit: freedigitalphotos/
Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee

16 comments:

  1. Ha, ha!! Love this!! (And I love the picture you posted, too!)

    Yeah, I can totally relate. My dog is napping on my forearm right now. I am wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. I'm too lazy to move the dining chairs to sweep and mop under them, so I just kind of sweep around them. I'm also too lazy to take things upstairs. I pile them on a step where they sit forever. :)

    Have an awesome weekend!

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    1. Oh! Oh! I know! Just poke that broom underneath, right? LOL I love your lazy list. :)

      Wasn't that seal (I think it's a seal) hilarious?!

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  2. I giggled at every single one of these! I love how real you are, Jess! (And I love how honest you are about life/laziness because the rest of us sure won't be! LOL)

    Something I'm lazy about? Hmmm.... Sometimes, I'll let the dusting go until my daughter writes "Hi, Mama!" on the dresser. :)

    Happy Weekend!

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    1. That's so funny she writes in your dust. I love it! Hee hee!

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  3. Oh my goodness, I'm so glad you're back to your regular schedule. I was going through withdrawal on Mondays and Fridays! And you get an "amen" and a "holla!" for the programming your coffee pot one...that's so me. It's like the worst thing EVER when I wake up and realize I forgot to program it the night before...THIS is why I need to get married, so I can have a husband to make the coffee in the morning when I forget the night before.

    As for what I'm lazy about...sometimes I open a bag of lettuce and pour the dressing into the bag. So much easier than actually putting the lettuce on a plate! And a heck of a lot easier than actually, gasp, buying a head of lettuce and cutting it up. (I got the dressing-in-the-bag idea from watching Gilmore Girls. That show is so relevant in so many areas of life!)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. It's wild being back to 3 days. I saw my blog post upload on facebook and had a mild heart attack. "Who took over my blog?! I don't post on Fridays!" Oh wait. Yeah. I guess I do again. lol I think pouring dressing in the bag is hilarious! I still haven't ever watched an episode of Gilmore Girls. I have to do this!

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  4. I. Love. You.

    This cracked me up. I'm trying to think of examples of how I'm lazy, but I'm just feeling...well, lazy this morning. ;)

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    1. I. Love. You. Too!
      LOL You're too funny, chica!

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  5. I will wrangle my jeans on with my flip-flops on b/c i'm too lazy to take them off first.

    also, when going #2, I just skip the TP and go straight for my daughter's wipies. works SO much better...and faster, too.

    LOVE your list, girl. i want to be neighbors with you so bad. and can i just say that i can't BELIEVE you have a a daughter in high school. say what?

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    1. I literally snorted over #2, because I know this is all so very true. ;)

      I totally wish we were neighbors. Call me! ;)

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    2. I literally snorted over #2, because I know this is all so very true. ;)

      I totally wish we were neighbors. Call me! ;)

      Delete
    3. wait a tic....i don't have your number! do i?

      Delete
  6. This is great, Jessica! Don't you love those moments when you learn you're not alone? Yes, my name is Sharyn and I'm lazy.

    Sadly, I live alone so I can't text anyone when I want something. So I either do without or wait until I have to take care of other needs (i.e. the restroom) & get it all done in one trip.

    Also, I have discovered the wonderful uses of having a back-scratcher close at hand. Not only for the obvious reason - taking care of an itch - but also for anything else that's just out of reach. I use it to pull things closer, turn the fan or a light off, even pet my cat. And I'm seriously thinking about getting one of those long-handled things that actually grabs stuff.

    Of course, I also eat a lot of frozen dinners/pizzas. That's the epitome of laziness - no cooking, no dishes, no cleanup. :-)

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  7. Hahahaaa, you're so funny! And I totally had to help my son with his math the other day (4th grade) and it was driving me nuts. Why can't they just teach them the straightforward way? Instead they want the kids to do all these convoluted steps and I just don't have the patience for that. LOL!!

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  8. I'm so lazy I won't even use a coffee maker with a timer because if I had one, I'd have to USE it EVERY day (or risk burning it up the next morning)!

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  9. I'm so lazy I won't even use a coffee maker with a timer because if I had one, I'd have to USE it EVERY day (or risk burning it up the next morning)!

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